When I Think of a Miracle

In another life
We never wonder ‘what if’
We move to the new city
We take the other job
We say the right thing
More often than we say it wrong

In another life
You and I exist
We choose each other
Take the risk-embrace the abyss–here, hold my hand, let me kiss
You.

We don’t turn away
Your hand on my leg
Steady, sure

We dance in the kitchen
Your arms swallow my frame
Touching 
Searching 

We repeat good days
Because we can

In another life
Road trips–your hands, my hips
Pep talks before we enter the family fold
Long hugs, the smell of pie and respite from the cold
Smiles of gratitude for our arrival

I got you a latte
The laundry is done
I think you’ll like this podcast
What should we make for dinner?
Let’s take a walk
Thank you for unloading the dishwasher
Are you cold?
Read this beautiful poem 
I bought that floss you like
How was your day?
I missed you.

Your lips on my forehead
The buzz of my body
Your hand on the small of my back
Tracing your jawline with my thumb
The softness of your eyelashes 
My smell
Your taste.

In another life 
You open to me
You watch me grieve and celebrate
You don’t let go
You know
We are full of goodness

Ripe, juicy 
Rich, voluminous 
Messy, flawed 
Warm, enduring 
Goodness.

In another life
Making you laugh is one of my greatest joys
I am silly, unabashed, free–you delight in me
You are a gift from the universe and I am beholden to her.

I am not afraid of love
Its canines digging into my supple heart
The high of the hunt-the desire, the want

What’s left when the feverishness subsides
And it’s just us, every day, choosing to stay.
Our roots have grown toward each other, not perfectly aligned but intertwined
An anchored foundation that has weathered storms and will weather more

In another life
I kiss you goodnight
Fall asleep with your fingertips touching mine
Thanking god, as you understand him, for our love
Knowing it sustains–through illuminated and starless days
My heart still flutters at the sight of you.
Do you know this life, too?